When Beyonce sings ‘all the single ladies’ I always seem to identify, even in the (rare) instances when I’d been “dating” a guy. Because let’s face it; I am single until proven otherwise (put the ring on it).
In recent years I’ve noticed my priorities shift from wanting a tall, dark haired, good lips, abs and the you name it, to now being just simple — ‘stable’. And that could mean quite a few things in my world.
So what does that mean in real terms? Simple, (or not really) that I now find myself at that stage of life where physicalism has become an icing on the cake and the fundamentals have shifted to the more meaningful things, such as: having a stable job, clear goals and aspirations, how driven someone is, and etc. Do you know why? Well because it has finally sunk in, that some things are more important than looks and all that jazz.
So I am going on a hiatus until I have figured out for myself all those things that I am seeking from someone else. Until I have developed a genuine self love, self appreciation or self esteem as we call it, self reliance, emotional stability (I am still going to be a girl though), and finally, find out who I am and where I want to be. Until then I am not taking part in any romantic act. That could be a month, two or even 12 months. Who knows?
What on earth is a dating hiatus anyway?
Baggagereclaim.co.uk, defined a hiatus as “making a conscious decision to put your romantic life on pause so that you can take time to not only break a pattern, but to also get to know YOU, so that when you do decide to date again, that you are coming from a healthier place. It’s about taking time to focus on yourself”.
The point is not to sit around the house for months, but to use your time effectively so that you can give yourself the opportunity to do some of the things you previously left on the shelf due to past relationships.
- Detox. If you’ve ever gone on one of those tea Detox, then you might understand the benefits of cleansing the body. But I think it’s even more important to cleanse the mind. Take time for yourself to get rid of all the debris left from the last heartbreak. Focus on rearranging your though process, and rebuilding your mindset.
- Healing. When a relationship ends it can be very overwhelming and we go through a lot of emotions due to withdrawal. I can go as far as to compare it to having your drugs taken away from you (no mum I don’t take drugs!), its difficult. But a hiatus is a good time to heal from the ex!
- Connect with yourself. Find your hobbies again, call your friends and hung out, travel, write and so on. Learn about you again and regain that self esteem that relationships sometimes take away with them when they end. Take this time to focus on who you are and who you would like to become. As for me, my career and travel are taking the front sit!
As always thank you ever so much for coming on this journey with me. Please drop some comments and let me know if you are or have been on a hiatus, how long it lasted and what you learned.